Happy Kids

There are so many documentaries to see and newspaper articles to read which are enlightening, thought-provoking and worth the time.  The “Race To Nowhere” is one that I would highly recommend, especially if you have children in school. As many of you may realize, I’m a proponent of finding contentment, slowing down and learning to not over-extend in order to make life manageable.  Yet we, as a society, overburden our children with the message that doing more is better, getting involved in multiple activities is the norm and if you’re not taking the most challenging courses in high school, then you’re falling short!  This message has created a society of extremely stressed out children and parents and to many incidents of depression, anxiety and getting involved in risk-taking behavior (drinking, drugging, sex) in order to cope.  Consider what it would be like to do the following, instead:

1.  Pay attention to your child and her/his needs: who are they, really.  What are their interests versus yours? What can he or she handle given their age, development, personality, homework load and so on. Be thoughtful in the decisions to add activities.

2. How much are you sacrificing your own “sanity” to provide for your kids? I often feel that parents are neglecting their own needs in order to give their children “every” opportunity. However, I believe this has a cost to a parent’s own satisfaction or getting their own needs met (of quiet time, for interests of their own, for socializing).  There can also be a huge impact on their marriage – especially if the child’s activities interfere with couples’ time.

3. Figure out why you are having your child do so many things: is it to keep up with what others are doing?  Do you really believe it’s in the best interest of your child – if they’re staying up late doing homework, not getting enough sleep, and becoming overwhelmed – is it worth it? Is it because you weren’t given the opportunities as a child, so you want to indulge your own child? Just be CLEAR about the choices you and your child make and that it really fits in with your own values, lifestyle, financial situation and child’s personality.

4.  BE MINDFUL of your own level of stress: parents who are stressed, overwhelmed and over-extended may also miss the warning signs of their own child suffering.  As well, parents who are experiencing depression and/or anxiety because of their daily stresses, aren’t much help to their children.  The idea of HEALTHY PARENTS = HEALTHY CHILDREN goes a long way – at least in terms of being PRESENT for your children and being able to model balance and a healthy lifestyle.

Watch the movie and see what you think – re-evaluate your own lifestyle and begin to pay attention to your owns needs and those of your child(ren).